It needs to be said before anything else: Breaking up, no matter how you do it, is never an easy task. When you’ve reached the point that it must come to an end, you know that the deed must be done, but that doesn’t make it any easier to carry out. Breaking up with someone you are casually dating is usually easier than with someone you are in a committed relationship with, but either way, it is still a difficult task.
Though it is hard to do, you must refrain from putting it off. If you’re going to pull the plug, do it sooner rather than later. As time goes on, it gets harder and harder to actually break up, and it will be rougher on your partner when you do. It’s better to get it over with now, so you can both just move on with your lives.
When breaking up, it is very important to be honest. Some traditional bull like “It’s not you, it’s me” will probably get you slapped in the face or walked out on. People are generally pretty good at telling when you are lying, especially if they know you well (and they probably do, since you’re in a relationship together). In fact, it’s very helpful to be entirely honest when breaking up.
Don’t come up with a story, and don’t try to polish up your reasons for terminating the relationship. Everyone deserves closure as to why they are being broken up with. If you met someone else, just say so. If there’s no physical chemistry, it’s okay to say that. If he or she drives you insane because of some little detail, it’s fine to mention that too. Just remember to be firm and not take no for an answer. If he or she starts off with “But we can make this work”, or “Please don’t do this, I…”, just state that your mind is made up.
Be prepared for an emotional train wreck – nobody likes being broken up with. There may be screaming, cursing, and storming out, and there may be crying, hugs, and tears. It’s important to remember not to feel too bad about it – everyone makes a bigger deal about it than it really is when they’re still getting over the shock. No matter how involved you are, they will get over you eventually. Time truly does heal all wounds.
One of the biggest breakup no-no’s is doing it over any communication medium besides face-to-face conversation. For the sake of the person you are seeing, please do not send an email, a text message, or a voice mail message telling your partner you want to see other people. A phone call really isn’t personal enough, either. Even if it is more awkward and inconvenient, it is much better to do this in person than digitally. Nobody wants to end on a bad note.
In summary, breaking up is never easy, but at least these tips can help give you some guidance.